By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
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I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
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I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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