And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
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I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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