Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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