whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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