just survived the first fart of the relationship.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
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Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
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THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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