I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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