remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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