i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
