Non-Jews are for practice
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
