Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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