i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
