I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize