week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
