After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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