I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
