at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
