wrigley field is MILF paradise
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
