I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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