You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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