Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
