Apparently you make a good broom.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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