your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
