we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Help me help you realize you are a moron
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
