a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
