Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
