ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My balls are so social today.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
