You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We are two peas in an std pod
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
