it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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