the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
