$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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