To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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