His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
