The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
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Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
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We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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