This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
