I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
