ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
