his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
