i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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