they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
