why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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