I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
