I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize