Non-Jews are for practice
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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