I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize