Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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