last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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