worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
