Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
