you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
