everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
