accomplished twins. life is a go
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
