True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize