Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
