he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Enjoy the penises
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
