The beer is more important than you right now.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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