The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
