What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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