Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
