Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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