you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
