May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
