I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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